The Drinking Club with a Running Problem
Hash Trash for Shanghai H3 Run #908
Sunday 13th August

Hares: Artsy Fartsy, Mussels from Brussels & Haute Cuisine
Venue: A to A. Mussels & Haute Cusines's gaff on Changle Lu.

A big group of masochists set out on Sunday for the 908th run of the Shanghai H3. This was possibly one of the hottest days so far this summer with the mercury hitting a whopping 38.6, but all us mad dogs and Englishmen/women braved it with the usual gung ho, ah sure fuck it we're in China and anything goes type of way. There was hardly anyone else out and about on the Xuhui streets to provide the usual staring masses that makes hashers feel like freaks or celebs - depending on your mood. The locals were the smart ones to stay indoors and try to keep cool. This was a slow jog around the French Concession for about 40 mins - which was a stretch for most of this hungover group.

The hangovers were due to the party that was held for Mussels and Haute Cuisine who are leaving this land for a cleaner one (Belgium) back in Europe. Also there was the Stag/Hen nights victims who celebrated the upcoming nuptials of Weedy Balls and Shitting Bricks - and to see the crowd on Sunday afternoon - anyone could easily tell that the pack was suffering from the excesses of the night before as well as from the heat - even the GM refused to take off his sunglasses all day regardless of the fact that the smog and haze kept the day relatively dull.
We circled up in the beautiful garden of Mussels & H./Cuisine which was a lovely setting for a not so lovely group (after the run the sweating continued for ages and in earnest all round). We welcomed an eager group of newcummers that included N-N Dan from NYC, N-N Patrick from Iowa, N-N Scott from Connecticut, Budapest Butt Fuck from Hungary (no surprise with that name),who is a regular on the Taiping Hash, N-N AC from Japan and Toy Soldier from Shenzhen who actually has a hash name but his real name more than suffices!

There was a distinctive Belgian flavour to this hash - given the setting and the hares again no surprise and there was a number of down downs regarding truffles, chocolates etc. There were quite a few returners this week too, namely; Inspector Gobshite - (who later made his presence very well known by misbehaving with another hasher in the privacy of a bedroom - very cheeky!!) Quasimodo and kids, Lance my Prick, Wooly Bush and Cockwork Orange. WE had plenty of pink underwear to be seen - but on heads not asses, as Pav wore the Bu hao award and nominated a few candidates, some for very obvious reasons, others just for the hell of it and they were; This Idiot, Bubu, Belated Lee, N-N John, Flash and Inspector Gobshite. It was awarded to Inspector Gobshite for some misdemeanor or other and he shall have the honour of passing it on next week.
The usual sex on the hash was provided by Hotel Shaggafornia and Lance my prick - will you guys ever get a room (again)?? after they were seen biting each other mid-trail. Camel accused Toy Soldier of being a wimp amongst wimps when he told a story of a swimming event when unfortunate Toy Soldier had to cry for help. Camel saved his life and thus the other man is forever in his debt...
There were a few crazies in our midst as well - these were the ones wearing long pants!! on the hottest day of the year so far...they were Unsolicited Sex, Inspector Gobshite and Eye Swallow. Was it not hot enough for you guys?? jeez!
The RA tried to educate the masses in how to make a charge, but it fell on mostly deaf ears, which is usually what happens when somebody says...'now I'm going to teach you all a vital lesson' He did mention something about writing it down and wrapping the request in cash...but again...deaf ears. He demanded that he have a virgin charger up to accuse someone and Stretchmark stepped up to the plate to accuse all the bare chested, testosterone dripping, fire in their loins hashers up for being show offs...only to have the RA charge her for being a lusty lady who couldn't keep her eyes off them...no fair!! The victims were Brain Dead (of course - has anyone ever seen this guy in a shirt??) Eeyore, Pavarotten and N-N Scott. Some eye candy for of all persuasions there for sure.

The newly weds Belated Lee and Hot Pot and soon to be officially newly weds Weedy Balls and Shitting Bricks were given a Down Down for being what they are now - married. Funny how we all went on the Stag and Hen nights for Mr. & Mrs. Weedy when they are just that already...a mr. and mrs. They actually got married in the registry office a few days prior and came to their nights of debauchery wearing their wedding rings..strange but true!!

We ate a jolly good meal of Indian delights in the garden and drank the evening away and afterwards we had a very entertaining rendition of the Lancaster bomber with particularly good performances by the pilot (Belated Lee) Engine 1 (Pav) and Navigator (Unsolicited Sex). The unfortunate N-N Dan was the victim of the prank, being in the position of Engine no 4 - he is a good sport. Well done all.

Wishing Mussels from Brussels, Haute cuisine and family a very fond farewell. Good luck back home and thanks for giving yourselves a great send off with the hash!! Be seeing ya...

Any complaints about this hash trash should be sent to somebody else.

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August 15th 2006